I am just a Mum. I’m not a superhero.
I think most Mums are too hard on themselves. We want to do it all. Make our kids happy, our partners, ourselves, our friends, strangers at the supermarket…everyone! We are people pleasers and we often leave ourselves to last, or spread ourselves too thin.
I’m not complaining. We’ve all got problems and I know I’m a luckier than a lot of people. I’m sure there are many many many people struggling more than me. Single mums, mums with more kids than me (how do you do it?!), mums of twins. What I’m saying is you should cut yourself some slack. If you’re stretched too thin, can’t keep up with everything you have to do, then find a way to make it easier if you can.
This year I have been blogging a lot less than before. I post about once a week now, whereas I used to post 2 – 3 times a week. I love blogging, but I just can’t fit as much of it into my life right now as I used to. I apologise to you if you’ve been missing me a bit and I’m sure I’ll get back to posting more at some point, but sadly, it’s one thing that has had to slip a bit. I know a lot of bloggers are suffering burn out, but I don’t feel that way exactly. I Just. Don’t. Have. Time.
I am also sewing a lot less. I have heaps of ideas and I would love to do more sewing, but again, I just don’t have the time. I had to buy Roman some cheap tracksuit pants because he had outgrown his current ones and I just didn’t have time to go shopping, buy fabric, wash it, cut out a pattern and sew them up. I feel guilty for buying these cheap clothes, but I had to cut myself some slack.
We all need to give ourselves permission to let something go. No guilt! I recently got a house cleaner. She comes once a fortnight and cleans the floors and bathrooms. They were two jobs I could just never get around to doing. I’m lucky that I can get one and I’m sure there are people who are busier than me that manage to clean their floors and their bathrooms, but I just can’t fit it in. I still feel guilty about this, but I’m doing my best not to.
I’ve started cooking bigger batches of dinners and freezing extra portions. Most nights during the week we eat a freezer dinner like that. I love cooking, but Ted gets grumpy if I spend too long in the kitchen, so I had to let it go. Now I re-heat the dinner and maybe cook up some rice or pasta, or chop up a salad to go with it. I look forward to the afternoons when I can chop veggies and hover of a pot of stew for a couple of hours. Those days are few and far between, but I know they will come back.
The thought of entertaining guests usually terrifies me! I used to love planning dinners parties and then spend the whole day cooking and preparing the house. These days, I just don’t have time! When hubby now suggests we have people over, my heart rate goes up as I think of the million cleaning jobs that need to happen and then happen again as the boys follow behind me and un-do all my good work. I then try and convince hubby that takeaway pizza would be a great idea.
I’m making sure I spend time with the boys. Colour in pictures with Roman. Play peekaboo with Ted. Take stupid family photos. Roman is trying to spell words at the moment so I’m trying to help him read. I have no idea what I’m doing, but it’s fun and amazing to see him make new connections. Ted has just started walking and I love walking around the lounge room while he toddles along holding my finger. I do a little dance inside each night as Roman summons me to his room for goodnight kisses and cuddles. He sticks out his fingers to tell me how many of each he wants. Every time I hope it’s 10. I’m trying to do what I can that I think matters the most now. Because kisses and cuddles, laughter and games are much more important than handmade undies.
I am a Mum. I’m a superhero.
Do you have trouble cutting yourself some slack? Have you had to let some things go since you had children?